Friday, March 09, 2007

Who's Smoking What? Where?

Here's a great frivolous lawsuit. A man is suing his next door neighbor for smoking in her own yard. Now before you get on all your "the American Justice system blows, we have too many lawyers" soapboxes, chill out. Because as much as we'd like to claim this one, and as much as it seems like this law suit would have been filed in California - nope - it's in woefully underlawyered Sweden. I guess with all those safe Volvos being driven around, the 9 personal injury lawyers they have over there have to get creative.

Here's the link in case you think I am making this up.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Judicial Conservatism Saves the Day

Apparently, this Judge was a strict (sandwich) constructionist.

Is a burrito a sandwich? Judge says no
AP Fri Nov 10, 4:17 PM ET

Is a burrito a sandwich? The Panera Bread Co. bakery-and-cafe chain says yes. But a judge said no, ruling against Panera in its bid to prevent a Mexican restaurant from moving into the same shopping mall.
Panera has a clause in its lease that prevents the White City Shopping Center in Shrewsbury from renting to another sandwich shop...

Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Locke cited Webster's Dictionary as well as testimony from a chef and a former high-ranking federal agriculture official in ruling that Qdoba's burritos and other offerings are not sandwiches. The difference, the judge ruled, comes down to two slices of bread versus one tortilla.

"A sandwich is not commonly understood to include burritos, tacos and quesadillas, which are typically made with a single tortilla and stuffed with a choice filling of meat, rice, and beans," Locke wrote in a decision released last week.

ExLawyer breathes a sigh of relief over what might have happened if a gyro joint had opened. Or one of those places that sell those foofy "wraps."

Saturday, November 11, 2006

You Thought the Dog Lover Story was Bad?

Many people ask the ExLawyer what kind of case would it take to get him back into court.
This is not that case.
Naked man arrested for concealed weapon
November 4, 2006
EL CERRITO, Calif. --A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors -- naked -- and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.
The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.

John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.

"You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said.
Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.

Sheehan, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into jail on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.

Yeah, that's not the case. But it's close. Don't you think the cops overcharged a little on the concealed weapon count? We all know why the tool was where it was. Read the story again.

"Bay Area Rapid Transit Station..."
"...paroled from state prison last week."

Concealed weapon, my ass! Well his ass, actually. Poor misunderstood Johnny wasn't using that tool as anything other than... well a tool. Case dismissed.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Michigan is for (dog) Lovers

With apologies to the Commonwealth of Virginia's old tourism slogan, Ex has to say that Michigan is also a great state for lovers... of dogs.

It seems a man who lives near the metropolis known as Bay City got a hankering for some sex. With a dog.

But wait, it gets worse - In full of view of a day care center.

But wait it gets more worse - the dog was dead.

Wait! - still even more worserer - for four or five days.

The guy's been charged with "crimes against nature." Normally, Ex would complain that that law sounds pretty vague, but when the ExLawyer tries to imagine what a "crime against nature" might be, having sex with a rigor-mortified canine outside of a day care center does seem to fit the bill.

If you live in Bay City-Saginaw Metroplex and you are wondering if you need to lock up your pets now - breathe easier, the canine Casanova is being held on a $500,000 bond. One person Ex know won't be bailing him out- his girlfriend. It was her dog.

In case you doubt Ex, here's the link

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Who Do You Root For In This One?

A flunked out law student in Florida is suing his old school for admitting him in the first place. His claim is that they should have known he wouldn't make it through and not admitted him in the first place.

The ExLawyer doesn't know if this guy's right and the school was just trying to boost revenue by bringing in as many first years as they could.

The ExLawyer doesn't know if the school was justifiably trying to give incoming students a chance to prove themselves.

But the ExLawyer is pretty sure of one thing. I'll bet the flunkie isn't representing himself.

Read the whole story at

Monday, August 28, 2006

The Replacements Arrive September 8th

For those of you wondering what has kept me so busy that I haven't been posting here, the answer is no, I am not selling my blood on Ebay again. I've been running a cartoon show for Disney that finally premieres on the Disney Channel, Friday September 8th.

Yes, I know you have a social life and you'll be out on a Friday night, so check it out the next morning on ABC.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Who Says Showbiz is Hard?

"Lifelong work pays off, says Miley Cyrus, 13 "

So reads a headline in USA Today. Yeah, it's always good to see someone make it who's really paid their dues.